I have never been more scared...

Sometimes life gives you a kick in the pants, to make sure that you are paying attention.

And last night, I got that kick. I nearly lost my foot, and very nearly lost my life.

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. That's mainly because nothing is going on. School is going good for bug, our jobs and life are just scooting along at the normal pace. No emergencies, no abnormal happenings... just normal. Which of course is why this kicked us so hard.

So, last week Wednesday I was doing laundry, and fell down the stairs. Not all the way, and I caught myself, but not before my ankle and knee twisted and a pretty odd angle. Went to the emergency room after work thursday when the pain became unbearable, they took a butt-load of x-rays, and even showed them to us - no breaks or anything, except a funny clump of improperly healed bones in my foot, from a few years ago. But nothing big. They gave me vicodin, i took Friday off, my mother came up to help around the house, and things were going swimmingly. I just laid on my arse all weekend playing video games.

Monday morning I felt good enough to work (desk job at home, after all), so I started working. My foot started feeling colder and colder, and it started turning purplish blue.

Right about this color,actually. Only a little "fleshier" color.

So I called the nurse line from our insurance, and she told me to get to urgent care within 2-4 hours. So we went over to Marshfield Clinic, where our favorite doctor took one look at my foot, squeezed both my good and bad foot, got a very scared look on his face and told us he had to "make some calls".

Now, during this time, my foot stopped functioning completely, and the coldness was creeping up my leg. The pain was (I thought) gone, and my tempature was rising from my normal 97 degrees to 100.

The doctor came back in, gave us a note, and told us to give it to the doctor at the ER at Sacred Heart. And he told us to hurry, but wouldn't say anything else.

So we hurried over there (It is less then 200yards away) - and the gorram receptionist made me stand there for 10 minutes while she helped a woman "who thought she may have a headache but wasn't quite sure because she hadn't had a headache in a while and doesn't know whether tylenol or regular aspirin would be better for her". Didn't even offer me a wheelchair (my wife did when she came in from parking the car).

So while we were waiting, my wife looked at the note.

• Significant discoloration (we knew this)
• Significant temp difference between feet (guessed this)
• Non responsive to pain stimuli on lower portion of foot (i didn't realize he tried to pinch me)
• Blood pressure at 150/80
• Unable to find pulse in foot

The unable to find pulse scared us... my wife read that, and told the receptionist to look at the note and that we were expected only to have her go "sorry this woman was here first".

So we waited for 20 minutes, all the while the pain getting worse, my tekmpature increasing. Finally they got me into triage, where they took my blood pressure - it was up to 180/99. The nurse took one look at my foot, glanced at the note, then said the equivalent of "why the hell aren't you back there already?" and got me into a room quick, where i was greeted by 4 nurses and a surgeon.

THey found a pulse using a dopplar system, but it was very, very weak. They tried warming my foot with heating blankets and hot compresses, but my foot wouldn't change temperaturs and it was getting worse.

So they sent me for an ultrasound with a surgeon watching - fortunately, they found bloodflow, no blockage and no clots.

But, there was little bloodflow - the artery had "spasm'd" on it's own, closing up. My blood pressure was not at 200/110, and i was starting to pass out.

They shot me up with Morphine and some beta-blockers, at which i started regaining consciousness, and low and behold i could feel my foot again!

The doctor came back in, and told me what the problem was (my artery closing itself by spasming), and that if I had not gone to the hospital , in a few hours my foot would of been "unrecoverable". Even worse, my blood pressure would of kept going up... and my heart would of blown out (it was already dangerously close).

It didn't hit me until a few hours later, when we got home and were watching tv on the couch. Probably because the morphine wore off. I had dodged a bullet big time. I had just been told that I was at death's door. And it makes you think.... and for the first time in years I was truly scared that I had not done what I wanted to do in life yet. And that I don't want to be going anywhere any time soon.

So now I sit for the next couple days, a team of doctors going over how to fix my problem permantently. I am on some very good narcotics (the walgreens guy said this is the strongest stuff you can get from a pharmacy, any stronger you have to be in the hospital) and with instrucitons to not work, not drive, and be as stress free as possible until the orthopedic surgeon has a chance to look at everything, and make a decision between therapy and surgery. Right now they are leaning towards surgery, but he wants to avoid it. So until they make a decision, here i sit, thinking about what could of been, but thanking the world for the gift it gave me, both in the scare of a lifetime and the chance to keep moving on.